i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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