I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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