You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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