How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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