If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
