Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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