does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
