Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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