We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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