This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
