I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
