Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
