why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My penis needs a shock collar
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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