you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
