So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
