I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Four minutes until I can fart!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
