You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wear drunk well.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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