She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
