Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
