I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
