i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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