Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my being single is dangerous.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
