I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
