So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
