I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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