He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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