I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
