he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
