A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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