weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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