I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
