3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
