So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
