I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
