Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This is my gift to your gina
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
