would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
