Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
