you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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