Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
