I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
