the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
