listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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