My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
