there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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