we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize