I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
