So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
