That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
