Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
