omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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