God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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