I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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