I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
