you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
