pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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