Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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