you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
