as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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