the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
